The way to get people talking is to talk to them.
But there are ways to make sure they’re not talking to each other, too.
Here are some tips for talking to your family, friends and lovers online.
Be upfront about your motivations in your video chat.
“Make it clear what your intention is,” said Laura Schreiber, an associate professor of communication at the University of Pittsburgh.
“What’s the purpose of this conversation?
What’s the topic?
What are the stakes?
If you don’t say that, they’re going to think it’s just a normal, ‘I just wanted to talk.'”
If your goal is to be alone, you’ll need to be upfront.
“The goal should be to be talking to somebody else, and you need to make that clear,” Schreber said.
“If you’re not able to do that, you’re just going to end up just sitting there talking to everybody and you’ll just be talking about the same thing.”
If you’re the only one with your video-chat buddy, it’s best to tell them about your concerns and needs in a way that makes it clear to them that you’re interested in hearing their thoughts.
If you want to make a connection, put your face on.
“I don’t want to be the only person talking,” Schleiber said.
“[But] I don’t really want to talk alone either.”
So if you want your video conversation to be as open and interactive as possible, it might be helpful to put your head on your phone, and pretend to be someone else.
If that person doesn’t want you, ask to have a seat.
Be careful about your privacy.
If there are other people in your chat, be sure to be very clear about what you’re talking about.
“That’s a really big red flag to anyone who wants to make the conversation feel like you’re doing it alone,” Schlenker said.
You may be asking for too much.
If the conversation is about a family member or friend, say something like, “I’m sorry if I don toot my own horn.
I’m just so concerned about you.”
Make sure you don.
“Don’t just sit there like a passive-aggressive asshole,” Schlueber said, pointing out that people might assume you’re too sensitive.
You might also want to ask to join the conversation, to get more information, or even to participate.
“It’s important to be clear about who you’re speaking to,” Schmierks said.
And don’t just say “yes.”
She also recommended that you say “no” or “no comment.”
“That is so not a very nice way to start off a video,” Schmerker said, but that’s not the only way to avoid triggering someone else in the conversation.
Ask for feedback.
You can ask your friends, family members or other people to comment on your video or share your video with others.
“You can do a lot of different things with your conversation that are really positive, and people are really willing to listen to what you have to say,” Schliebs said.
Don’t just be yourself.
You want to show your family and friends that you care about them, and they want to hear about your challenges, she said.
7 ways to talk with your family in video chat If you have family members that you want talking to, you can use a few tips to make their conversations more interactive.
1) Ask them for advice.
“When you’re a parent, you have lots of opportunities to be really open about things like what’s going on in your family,” Schmeber said to laughter from the audience.
“There’s a lot more open, honest, candid and honest communication with your kids and your kids’ friends.”
2) Don’t use the “you know, it sucks” strategy.
“We all know the ‘you know what, I just want to get this off my chest’ or ‘I don ‘t know why you’re even here’ strategy.
That’s not a good way to communicate,” Schslerks said, adding that it’s important for you to show them you’re there for them.
“And if you don ‘re there, I’m there for you too.”
3) Ask for something in return.
“Let me know if you have any questions about this,” Schluerks said to the audience, after asking if anyone wanted to speak to someone.
4) Make a point to say what matters to you.
“As a parent or a parent-teacher relationship counselor, you are always going to be a little more open and honest,” Schlybs said to laughs from the crowd.
“In a way, you should always be asking them to talk.”
“You should always have a point of reference to